You Are My Joy
Life's been good to me. God's been good to me. Yesterday at Pact, we talked about forgiveness and Wilson asked us to close our eyes and think of a couple of people that maybe done us wrong and we haven't forgive them yet. During that short amount of time, maybe some people were able to conjure up some names, but I couldn't and I still can't. I'm not trying to make myself sound Godly which I am not. But It was harder for me to think of someone to forgive than it is to think of a bunch of people that I need forgiveness from. So maybe God has blessed me with a bad memory to forget about the past.... maybe my hidden prayers of asking for a forgiving heart was finally answered??? It's all a big questions mark.
Last night Jeanelle and I was in awe of this song and the band that sang it cause they weren't afraid to show their love for God in front of thousands of people. Most of them probably non Christians because this even is just a big music fest. So props to you Flyleaf :]
Labels: flyleaf, forgiveness, you are my joy
Let that be Enough
I am going to be honest and completely me in these next few moments... I've forgotten the meaning of sacrifice, grace, forgiveness, hope, joy and love, and probably a lot more things.
Do you remember during summers of grade school when you would just forget everything you learned during the school year? Well, my summer began a long time ago and it is just not coming to an end. The longer this carries on, the more I am forgetting. When ever I find myself in the silence, the gears in my head seem to turn and I will just look back on the past few days and point out all the mistakes that I've done. I often find myself pointing out the times when I've been selfish or unloving to the people around me. I am constantly faced with my own words telling me to be a better student, friend, daughter, or person. And it's so hard to even ask for forgiveness with a whole trail of mistakes lined up right behind me.
I don't remember the last time I worshipped wholeheartedly. I know I want to. I want to be able to feel God's love again, to be amazed at the fact that He died on the cross for me. To know that He forgave my every sin. And know that even though every part of my life is falling apart, He's the only one that is able to keep me together. I'm sorry, I don't have any of that as of right now...
And now here I am, 2:30 AM with a stomach full of grande raspberry white mocha and eyes that are wide awake, a mind that wants to crash more than anything. Oh yeah, and an upset stomach. I don't even know why I'm posting this...
wish me luck, peace.
Let me know that you hear me, let me know your touch. Let me know that you love me, and let that be enough.
love-"it's the closest thing we have to magic."Labels: forgiveness, God, hope, joy, love, sacrifice
